Sit! Down! Stay!

Oh. MY. WORD.

What the %@#*? We swept the Cardinals, last year's second best team in all of MLB. And the bleeping CUBS are leading us 3-1 in the seventh.

AT MINUTE MAID.

And we look so bad, we probably couldn't beat Roger Clemens' old team.

No, I don't mean the Yankees.

I mean Spring Woods High School.