Clemens retires to help Astros make it to post-season

I think that would make a good Brushback article.

For those not familiar with Brushback.com, it's a fabulous sports satire site, updated weekly.

As I write, the Astros are losing 4-0 to the Pirates, with Rocket on the mound versus an 0-2 rookie named Ian Snell. The way we look tonight, Snell might as well be Cy Young. And other than a few rare occasions, we always look like crap when Clemens pitches.

But Brushback is just satire. I really don't mean it, Mr. Clemens. Please don't retire.