Tee hee!

Since Astros' baseball doesn't really amuse me particularly at the moment, I thought I would post something that does.

This is my new doormat.

It is self-described as "perfectly fine, if not certainly adequate," and contains the following warnings on the label:

"Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about. This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. . . . If coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. . . . Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women [I'm not making this up, lakeline!], pets and heavy machinery. . . . Do not taunt mat. Failure to comply relieves the makers of this doormat, Simply Precious Home Decor. . . of any and all liability."

Love. It!